Waiting is not my strong point

Along with harbouring a hot and cold persona, a love of soft fluffy things, an obsession with brightly patterned socks and a penchant for flinging nicknames at anyone and everyone (my insincere apologies if you were or are privy to it), I am a halfway commitment phobic. Ohboy will you look at that? I am getting to truly know myself a little more every day. Halfway because, as much as I am hesitant to dedicate myself – once I do there’s no going back. The very moment I grasp onto an idea, every atom of my soul grows incredibly intent and focused on the scheme circulating in my blood. Yeh, I know… that sounds like a load of…

It’s happened countless times though, situations closely akin to this morning: after breakfast I was struck with a random objective to dunk Lindt Chilli into that chocolate peanut butter dip. And then the thrill of the idea overtook my nervous system and I had to have it right then, right now. Yesterday evening I mentally committed to giving the office a spring clean today after lightly toying with the notion for awhile . First thing this morning I was flinging out the furniture and getting stuck into it. Oh and I should let you in on it; the Lindt chilli was magical swirled through the dessert hummus.

So when I felt a certain something twitching in me upon reading Amanda’s recipe just posted up today for apple pie pancakes; I knew I was in trouble.

Tangled Rapunzelimage source

My gut was waiting for my brain to give that “OK” signal… eager to erupt into excitement and hold me to my word. And why not? Sounds simple… the ingredients on hand… and the biggest factor of course: bloody delicious. And that’s judging from the photo’s alone. I promised my tummy and taste buds(?) – breakfast tomorrow. You know, breakfast just seemed like 5.5 billion years away. Who cares if the veggie drawer happens to be stocked up with fresh spinach, mushrooms, carrots etc. The grilled lemon and parsley hake fillets lost their appeal. Damn it, I wanted apple pie pancakes. I took 50 deep breaths… and got to work on dinner…

apple pie pancakes

topped with orange blossom honey, along with a side of peanut butter.

I’m gifted okay. Tell me your pancakes result in such creative shapes!?.. hectagons, pentagons and what not.

apple pie pancakes

I am almost too exhausted to delve into describing how delectable these fluffy guys were… they rocked my [neon pink and turquoise, striped] socks off.

apple pie pancakes

Tell you one thing; my belly is exceptionally happy. And exceptionally demanding… or is that my head ;) .

Thinking Out Loud #30

Guys, I am turning into a chatterbox. Help me! Never mind having been an incessant squeaking cricket the past few days in addition to other forms of technical talking…I am left with a molehill of mumble jumble up in there; ready to pounce on my next innocent victim. Which would be you by the way. Gotta love the lover of randomness Amanda and her invitation to Think Out Loud.

Thinking-Out-Loud

 

1. Do you know those cravings that manage to simply possess you? I get that way too often admittedly, and it happens to be SO pin pointedly specific…it.kills.me. In a good way. Okay, once I have it satisfied. Since last week I’ve been craving a freshly baked scone with strawberry jam and  a foamy cappuccino. There’s just been too much going on to schedule in a coffee date among all the cheesecake…

cheesecake

and chocolate :D . But if it doesn’t happen this week….I stand a strong chance of losing my mind.

 

2. Fringes are happening people!

fringed top-Traffic

Alright they’re practically old news BUT here’s the deal: unless I am bitten and snared myself, a fashion item announced to be hot and happening through the media is not going to work it’s way into my wardrobe. It’s all down to the chemistry of attractions I believe, which runs much further than the spark between two souls.

 

3. On the topic of chemistry; the excitement in the reunion with Nutella is waning…my taste buds have grown dull to it and restless – ever demanding a thrill found in a foreign taste and texture. I was remarkably conscious of a nagging need of extra nourishment as off -3 days ago.. perhaps the absence of sufficient wholefoods and a gravitation toward “empty” desserts and sugars – amidst all the PMSing and mood swings – left me low in important vitamins and minerals. What I am -to my pleasant surprise- all gaga for right now, is beans. That’s right, to go along with a brain full of beans figuratively speaking, I am now legit craving them. Garbanzo beans to be precise.

 

4. I had all but entirely forgotten the honourable bag of chickpea flour collecting dust on the counter… my mind fresh into the chickpea “obsession” zoned in on Aunty Arman’s commendation of this recipe in his breakfast round-up. Pizza for breakfast? No thank you. But it would be simply glorious for lunch…

chickpea crust pizza

topped with Garlic Sweet Chilli sauce, zucchini scrambled eggs in butter and chunky avo slices.

And I learned all over again that I am an absolute nutcase at making anything pancake-ish. I must have prodded and poked at the poor thing 5.5 billion times while it tried to cook. Despite my abuse man-handling it turned out scrumptious!

 

5. I should confess a little matter weighing slightly heavily on my chest: You call it zucchini… we (meaning the humans labelling the packages in this part of the world) call it.. get this.. Marrows *jaw hanging*. Of all the stupefying!? … mar-rows. Why does that sound so icky, hah?! Oh and leave that appalling fact; I was adamant zucchini failed to exist at all over here, casting an uninterested eye over the marrows. It was only upon Syd informing me – from her time in SA – that I awoke to this mystifying vegetable. I think I’m in love.

 

6. Testimonial to the continual chickpea crazy stint (that, along with being captivated by the hummusapien’s recipes) is the dessert I whipped up yesterday. After legit pining for it for 30 hours… I kid you not.

I wanted a nourishing dessert and this was it. I hereby pledge to never undermine it’s rich gloriousness by “wasting” this hummus on unworthy forms of dippage. For now: spoon and finger is my standard vehicles. I choose to overlook the “error” on the recipe – stating it serves 6, because I refuse to accept I am capable of packing away 3-4 servings in one day.  It’s a sheer miracle that my tummy is content with it!

 

7. Humans who are obsessed with feet do exist right? I mean, I’ve read a number of amusing instances in different novels yet haven’t come across it in real life. Or rather, haven’t had it made known to me…not to be mistaken, I am grateful to be ignorant if it is common because I reckon I’d be majorly weirded out. I was completely taken aback that a feet frenzy is not exclusive to humans; made clear when I was lounging on the stoep on a chilly morning the other day…

foot-loving ram

Oh my socks were squeaky clean so you don’t have to feel sorry for the blighter developing some disease.

 

8. This edition of Thinking Out Loud has been -as is the norm- chipped away at from around Tuesday, which makes an update on the dessert hummus situation compulsory. When I experienced the first lick straight from the blender my first thought was: frosting. This needs a slice of chocolate cake to be hernia-inducingly spell-bounding. Or is that spell binding?! Regardless – this one minute chocolate cake slathered with chocolate PB dessert hummus is magnificent.

With that I’m off…

That's all folks!image source

Share some of your thoughts with me!

Greater victories

A day in terms of hecticified busy-ness can be allocated in one of two standard categories: 1) nonstop bustling, hopping from one task to another. 2) occupied with slow-moving chores that primarily consist of waiting. <-my personal pet hate depending on the specific surroundings. Yesterday was basically that – waiting, oh.my.goose so much waiting. On returning home in the evening I felt slightly overwhelmed; the day was drawing to a close, yet I had barely begun. In a ravenous state with a million and one things looming like a rock over my head, about to crash and splatter my brains (and some major PMS cravings)… I needed coffee. And [leftover] cheesecake. For a very late lunch. As I settled down, allowing the mix of decadent creaminess and sugar to help in regaining a sense of calm and focus, I realized something epic. Food -of any kind or form- is no longer a challenge. Coming home after an extensive period of sitting on my behind without any “activity” and collapsing with dessert because I want it, is not a feat in my eyes anymore. It’s my normal. I’ll crave my veggies soon enough don’t you worry. That’s not to say I am fooling myself in trying to believe that skipping lunch and ODing on dessert is sensible or healthy… it is enjoyable now and again I’ll give it that much. And I am not writing off the fact that for any human overcoming fear foods there isn’t reason to rejoice and jive with delight!

It’s just weirdly fantabulous to know that I don’t have a single fear food. Wait, what!? Yeah really. discovering quoteimage source

Whereas not too long ago there were occasions allocated to greasy, fried foods…and of course it had to be documented and announced because I “challenged” the fear of oils and unknown calories and blah, blah. Now I would only feel inclined to make special mention of a meal or dessert in order to sing it’s praises, or give my critical review – respectively. Like the prawn wrap and chips about a week back…

prawn wraps/chips

Bugger that was glorious.

Food in itself is not an achievement for me any longer… it’s just food. A magnificent part of life, but not one to be battling with and “winning” by cutting out this and will-powering on that.

Oh and the waiting? That concluded to a mini victory toward something huge -hopefully- in the not too far away future :) .

 

At blogging/life crossroads

Bug bunny - whats upimage source

I had intended to get a few ‘breaking away from the eating disorder’ posts up some time around now; significant, exciting markers of mental growth and freedom. I was eager to delve deep into no.1 on my list: “Negative Associations” in overcoming bad stigmas toward otherwise good, healthy food in correlation with restrictive times. Other than serving as an outlet to reflect on factors, I would of course be thrilled if it would resonate with another soul somewhere on the planet. I am never one to set up a blogging schedule and having no current intention to expand this little space as anything more than a personally public (<-I’m a walking contradiction remember!?) form of expression and healing…. I would not be posting without really feeling it. Maybe it’s just a passing phase – an ebbing and flowing of moods and living circumstances that I’m once again deliberating on whether I will actually be making the initiative to even start on posting anything -I had in mind- anytime soon. It seems like my brain recently has so much of room ; instead of thoughts nagging to break out there’s enough scope for musings to overlap while -I assume- I am a picture of lost calmness and serenity. Bah, that sounds like a load of bull. It would be amusing if it wasn’t the case exactly. In feels like every moment with my mind unengaged is an opening to be whisked off into some daydream, and if that happens to be when I’m outdoors in the soft sunlight (which finally pitched up today!)… hah, good luck with trying to grab my attention! Needless to say, I’m enjoying honouring my wandering brain by slipping away at free times to simply laze or stroll about, and just… dream.

bugsy!image source

As far as I am aware my daydreaming phase was lost into the toddler years!? Yet I’m entertaining every little wish in my heart, fully experiencing a sense of elation at the near possibility of certain aspirations coming to life – so to say. It’s an incredible feeling guys *gush*. 

So I truly want to say: don’t stop dreaming. Ever. It’s a profound sensation that I cannot believe I was such a long period without.

 

 

WIAW..Do you know?

If the past weekend is anything to go by – winter could be at it’s peak. What happened to my Spring premonitions? Gail winds, air that pierces through like an icy dagger and sunshine completely MIA…. I’ll be holding onto the layering of knits, jumpers and leather for now. Oh and comfort food, you’re not going anywhere. Saturday having been thee coldest day ever, I decided it would be fun to document the day’s eats that served as powerful internal insulation against the elements. Brought to your viewing pleasure through the much-loved celebration of yumminess hosted by her loveliness Jenn.

WIAWbutton

DO YOU KNOW that awakening with chocolate chip cookie-cake on the mind – and with said cake in the house – is reason enough to have it for breakfast?

breakfast- cookie cake

Warmed, alongside chilled full-fat milk.

I’m done with tactics of staving off and denying cravings. I know that there is no way I’ll be able to get my mind focusing on other important matters if I fail to allow myself the freedom to just eat exactly what I please. Yes, even if that happens to be pie cake in the early AM. Obviously I went back for another slice…one slice of pie cookie-cake for breakfast just doesn’t cut it. I was seriously impressed at the decent time span I was kept energised after :D .

DO YOU KNOW that despite harbouring a set of taste buds highly in favour of well-spiced chicken, I am absolutely opposed to the sight – let alone the handling – of raw meats?

lunch- chicken&veg

Perfectly-spiced chicken, leftover roast potato wedges, steamed broccoli and carrots.

Good thing too. With a Mum and sisters’ who have honestly surpassed the title of “masterchef”, I am undeniably content with keeping away from the behind-the-scenes to every delicious portion. After denying myself of meat for such a long time, consuming it now is always tied with a feeling of liberation and all round fuzziness.

DO YOU KNOW hard-core oatmeal lovers stand a strong chance of craving a bowl during the day if it hasn’t made an appearance in the AM?

sweet&salty oatmeal -snack

with half a banana cooked in…topped with a splash of cold milk, roasted salted cashews, and strawberry jam. Coffee with a dash of coconut milk.

Sweet and salty nailed. I’ve been loving the sparkle a little coconut milk adds to my coffee these days…truth be told – it started off in a bid to use up opened tinned coconut milk and has morphed into an intended act.

DO YOU KNOW even lazy kitchen-slobs are sometimes motivated to put a little extra thought into cooking? But then again, my definition of cooking isn’t everyone’s pot of food either:

chickpea mushroom stew-dinner

chickpea mushroom stew with a wholegrain tortilla. Freshly squeezed naartjie juice.

Heh, how elaborate do I make my meal sound!? Well I believe it deserves a rather exaggerative title, given that it required abit more labour – than is my norm these days – to come together. I would really recommend braising mushrooms together with chickpeas though; the flavour is glorious.

 

DO YOU KNOW chunky applesauce on a warm buttery pastry croissant tastes just like apple pie?

croissant bedtime meal

half with chunky applesauce & cinnamon, half with Nutella. Rooibos tea.

The applesauce even gave the chocolate take a run for it’s money. Apple pie in a matter of minutes? Yes please.

Give me a recent foodie fact; Do you know…..? 

Dedication

Dedication is…

rising up a earlier to run bake before the world awakens. I’ve mentioned my lack of fondness at labouring in the kitchen; the situation is made a little pleasant if I can ensure that I will be the only soul there making a mess.

lugging around a monstrously over-sized cast iron skillet without warming up prior. It was not a smart move on my part to whet the appetite for a particular baked goodie without ascertaining the possession of the required baking tools. I suppose a replica from the 1950’s is better than nothing!?

getting butter on my fingers. I love butter okay, just not on my skin..eeyugh, so icky.

getting raw egg on my  fingers while attempting to separate the yolk from the white. Save me! It’s a good thing I wasn’t suffering morning nausea.

chopping up a bar of Lindt 70% in place of chocolate chips. We rarely have chocolate chips in the house – blame it on the lack of the stuff in the stores this side of the world.

taking a huge risk by sticking the overgrown pot/skillet thingy in the oven and hoping for the best. That’s part of my breakfast after all, I can’t deal with a flop!

reassuring the panicky voice inside of me twisting my guts into a nervous spasm – when 20-25 min. later…the masterpiece is clearly raw. What have I done? Deep breaths woman; it’s probably down to that block of iron the dough is in.

chomping down on a -cubed- pear (thank you braces *note the use of sarcasm*) to appease my demanding tummy. Any moment now…

chocolate chip skillet cookie

Do excuse the surrounding floury mess; this is amateur baking at its finest.

You know something, it’s a very good thing that – for the most part – I lack the nerve that contributes to embarrassment. Because now would be a suitable time to feel that way: yet another recipe of Amanda’s.. the gorgeous Chocolate chip skillet cookie. I’m guessing it’s that whole “tried and trusted to my taste buds” stigma, which is why I tend to revolve around her recipes.

choc chip skillet cookie & milk

Warm from the oven alongside chilled milk <3

Honestly, I almost didn’t wind up making it… after Mum gifted me with this before leaving me for a few days on an out of town trip

Cadbury Oreo

It’s a newcomer around these parts!

Between that blighter, a heavy supply of Salticrax & Nutella, and a stash of butter croissants – safe to conclude I am not short of my favourite forms of indulgent fare. But those wouldn’t satisfy a chocolate chip cookie-cake craving. I declared I would always choose “cake” over cookies, and I’m not going back on that statement, regardless of my natural contradictory nature. This is NOT a cookie folks…

skillet cookie-cake

A little bit brownie, a little bit cake, with the crispy edges of a cookie… to sum it up – this is perfection.

I am stumped at the correct manner of storage though. As it does contain egg, do I need to refrigerate?

Thinking Out Loud #29

I swear blog parties are my saving grace in helping me stay get on track of days [when they aren't serving to confuse me that is]. The dates of the month I am obliged to be aware of; no late tax payments from this human :) … but Monday-Thursday has a tendency to morph into one big jumble in my head. On the topic of head jumbles: here’s mine coming at ya out loud - courtesy of her randomness Amanda!

Thinking-Out-Loud

 

1. For a long while I’ve been enjoying my time in the “selfie sidelines”… you know interested in seeing the world’s selfies but assuming it as awkward for me to get into. I should take note of it as an element of my personality [re] surfacing then, this keen snap happy state growing on me.

selfie

Half a face! Awkward.

 

2. The sea of sunflowers dotting the fields announce that spring has officially sprung, yet the weather itself? Not so much.

sunflowers

A rare day of sunshine followed in quick succession by overcast chilliness and thunderstorms… not to allow our anticipation to grow too intense of course. But then again, do I really discern the weather patterns that identify with Spring? Something tells me that I need to glance back on pre-school lessons… because in the depths of my memory there’s a tiny speck of understanding that Spring is generally wet weather. Oh Mrs R, you would NOT be proud of your beloved pupil right now.

 

3. Allow me to narrate a fascinating story concerning French toast. Last week sometime I was over at Alison’s and she was linking back to a previous post in regard to… *silence*. Think, think… ah yes! Double-unders! Right?! My intention was to check if I had in fact missed that post. Turns out that while I’d been there, I had not fully absorbed the hypnotizing effect of the French toast the lady had for breakfast.. and just like that *zap* – I was bewitched people. As expected it had to happen..

french toast -breakfast

French toast topped with chunky applesauce, cinnamon, orange blossom honey and peanut butter. Rooibos tea.

So mine doesn’t appear quite appropriately “French”… in matters of taste I’d give it 5 stars though. So.good. I envisioned having French toast for breakfast for a month straight at least, but after 3 consecutive days… I awoke one morning in a lovely nauseous state; the very idea of handling raw eggs turning my tummy upside down. Wait, what? Isn’t morning nausea exclusive to expectant woman?!   

 

4. The best antidote – in my humble opinion – to ease any iffiness [nausea anyone] will be tried and true oatmeal. And chocolate. And peanut butter. And coffee. You catch my drift? Don’t ask me what drift… just catch it.

stovetop bananafied oatmeal, swirled with Nutella in a PB jar. Coffee spiked with coconut milk.

stovetop bananafied oatmeal, swirled with Nutella in a PB jar. Coffee spiked with coconut milk.

I reckon there is no emphasis required to establish just how brain-blowingly amazingly these flavours came together. Let’s discuss Nutella instead. Such a hot and cold relationship I’ve been involved in with the sugar laden jar of chocolaty goodness, it’s a crime. There was no argument when my age was limited to the single digits; how could Nutella be anything but loved?! Followed the period where the sight of the stuff clogged my arteries. In the process of challenging fear foods – Nutella was one of the introductory convicts. My taste buds were however in that explicable “healthy” stage and I quickly determined Nutella as “eww“. As off -5 days ago… my world will never be the same again: new [naughty] taste buds meet New-tella. Hhahaa, that is such a bad pun I’m totally crying.

 

5. I’ve got some golden advice to anyone wanting to delight their senses in Nutella yet finding it too sweet. Pair it with salty. Period. You are almost guaranteed to derive maximum satisfaction from it… leave that, you will probably be hopelessly addicted. I speak from experience. Nutella on a buttery flaky croissant. Or my favourite: Nutella with Salticrax. Don’t say I didn’t warn you; you believe xyz is addictive? Not any longer…

Nutella & Salticrax

 

6. I’ve been nurturing back-to-back disappointments in the turn of events regarding the last two books I had my nose buried in recently. I cannot come to terms with the ending in the sequel to Wings  … it’s illegal.

In case you're curious - that happens to be a Cho Fudge Cookie Dough shake.

In case you’re curious – that happens to be a Choc Fudge Cookie Dough shake.

Respected authors: what joy do you derive from toying with our emotions? Aahh I just can’t; reminiscing on it is bringing a lump to my throat.

To recuperate from the sadness, I delved into a chapter of another long-standing “relationship”; the Fearless series. For the past year of journeying through the books I became wonderfully obsessed with Gaia’s character… only to have every single shard of respect and love for her shattered into smithereens in [what appears to be the final instalment] “Normal”.

Fearless 31Gaia how could you!?!

 

7. Reading makes me hungry. Without fail… there has to be a direct correlation between our energy exertion and that of our characters. Because seriously, one would think I was doing the ass-kicking with them, as opposed to sitting on mine all the while!

 

8. The diet police are an enthralling bunch (I kinda really want to design their uniforms). I’ve been contemplating and… those who come under any form of “attacks” should feel very honoured. Think of it this way: it must mean you’re an extremely important figure in society if your impression on any diet effects the reputation of it worldwide. I mean, why else would there be such drama surrounding what a human chooses to EAT for goodness sake!?

 

9. Are you still around?… tell me what’s on your mind!