What better time to empty out your brain than with a party thrown for that very purpose, by our favorite Amanda!
We humans have this innate desire to label ev-er-ry thing. We cannot just let things be a part of life. It has to be something more, with a specific name to it, and a certain stigma surrounding that name. And who am I kidding? I couldn’t imagine living without it 😉 .
I never truly understood binge eating, or made an effort to. Why? It simpler didn’t apply to me. I have a tendency to restrict remember. When I was hit with extreme hunger in the beginning I read up on enough articles to understand that Extreme hunger is normal; nevermind the fact that it didn’t make it any easier to deal with. Since those first few weeks I was dead on believing that I was pass the Extreme hunger phase. I refused to accept that there was a huge possibility it could recur as I am not weight restored and there are probably days (few and far between) where I unintentionally undereat since I am not following any meal plan. Starting 3 weeks back, I have had occasional bouts of crazy hunger on alternate days, usually midday or the evening. I’m passed the stage where I can ignore my hunger so when I did eat to my satisfaction the question continually floated in my mind causing some anxiety “What, am I bingeing now?” I would eat alot; say 2 spoonfuls almond butter with half a banana, still feel hungry… have three slices of fruit cake. Still bloomin’ hungry… have a small bowl of pasta. Satisfaction at long last and only then can I prepare for bed without being plagued by thoughts of food.
Whenever such a situation would arise I would have a niggling concern that it must be bingeing until I read this post – yes it was ages ago – I’m fashionably late! (Back-stalking at it’s finest!). Honestly, I have never come across any article which simplified the term ‘binge’ in such a thorough way. After soaking in every word, I have come to the conclusion that I am not bingeing in the slightest and the only ‘label’ I can give to what is happening with me is Extreme hunger. I am not eating at the moment out of any emotion other than true hunger. In fact, it is when I am stressed or unhappy that food loses its appeal. Neither am I eating to the point of uncomfortable fullness. I am no doubt struggling to grasp that my body is capable of consuming and wants such an amount of food, and my ED mind is certainly not pleased.
This is not my usual light hearted TOL posts, but there was no chance of that when I had all of this on my brain.
* I would like to apologise for any previous posts where the photos do not appear. If it wasn’t for Alison I would have probably continued deleting photos from my Library after using them, not knowing that they were being wiped of the face off the earth. Thanks girl!