Home » Recovery » ED » “Healthy” is a state of mind

“Healthy” is a state of mind

Thursday afternoon marked the sad demise of my last double chocolate chip muffin

chocolate muffin

I knew I could no longer postpone the inevitable. No matter how much I dislike the actual baking process..freshly baked something is undeniably, comfortingly delicious. For inspiration I took a looksie through the million few recipes I bookmarked but never made. Never made because: 1) I don’t like baking – did I mention that? 2) I didn’t want to make something that would tempt me to eat alot of it if it turned out I loved it, thus consuming excessive calories. Gosh no.2 takes the cake hey? And I will admit that could be the bigger turn-off between the two.  All the more reason to get in there and eat bake, right?

I don’t like baking -something for myself- with all-purpose flour. I don’t mind eating if someone else made it..but it just makes me all sorts of uncomfortable to use a refined flour when making something with the intention of me eating it. It’s like going against my principle or something!? Seeing that we didn’t have any whole-wheat, spelt etc. I was on the lookout for the key word “Flourless”. These Flourless chocolate chip chickpea blondies from Monique’s kitchen caught my eye! And most importantly.. sounded uncomplicated for my disaster-prone self 🙂

As the words “oh this looks like the perfect recipe” crossed my mind – it dawned on me how much my outlook on what is perfect/healthy has drastically changed in the past few weeks(?)..months(?).  I would have said, “aah this looks so good. But there’s too much nut butter = too much fat. I need to leave out the sweetener if I’m putting in the chocolate chips. What if I’m tempted to lick the batter since there’s no eggs?” you get the picture. As off now, this appears as a perfectly healthy recipe to me. What really? Yes…it’s all good, wholesome ingredients. While perhaps there isn’t anything majorly wrong with wanting to sub some of the peanut butter with applesauce to bring down the calories..if I’m supposed to be gaining weight, that would be quite pointless. And no I don’t understand myself why I’m still clinging to non-fat milk and reduced-fat coconut milk..but baby steps forward are better than coming to a stand-still, or worse – moving backward. Previously I would never go within 5 feet of anything fried..nowadays one of my favorite daily snacks is fried and highly processed


Cheese was under the forbidden list. Now not only do I eat it..I look at it a part of my ‘healthy’ eats – even though I am wary with too much at once. I mean we’re looking at a good source of protein, calcium, fats..the body needs all of that.

Alright so back to my latest baking achievement! I made the recipe as it called for..waiiit..I actually didn’t sprinkle on additional sea salt. Minor details. Behold..Flourless Chocolate chip chickpea blondies

choc chip blondies

Yeah my photos are crap. But mark my words..these were insanely, fudge-tastically good.choc chip blondies2

I ran into trouble when stirring in the chocolate chips. The batter was warm from blending and all them chocolate chappies melted. I have nothing against chocolate swirls so I can’t complain though :). fudgy

Look at that fudginess! I am Monique is a genius!

choc chip blondie


Today I’m heading over to some family for a  get-together. It’s been awhile so I’m excited to socialize my lonely self and soak in some good vibes!  I’m adamant that I will eat whatever sounds appealing without letting ‘thoughts’ get in the way. I know I can do this!

2 thoughts on ““Healthy” is a state of mind

  1. Pingback: 4 hours of Living in the Moment | pathofdiscoveryblog

  2. Pingback: WIAW specific cravings | pathofdiscoveryblog

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