Home » Recovery » ED » Finding my food niche in a world of sugar

Finding my food niche in a world of sugar

It is no doubt a great blessing to live in a full house..full of people, full of noise (most of the time), full of food. With a Mum that loves to feed her family and a family that loves to eat, it works out well. And just because I gave myself an impression that that phrase makes my family sound gluttonous, let me just clarify that they’re all normal healthy people..no extremeties of – all the junk/no junk. They’ve got that whole moderation thing down to pat and they do it effortlessly. My “all or nothing” mind-set makes up for their relaxed outlook! There are some fabulous bakers in the family, meaning a constant supply of home-baked cakes and whatnot. And that is not a bad thing.

Custard cake

When I just started off the weight gain process, I was determined to gain on ‘clean’ foods. As I loosened the reins a little..got the taste of freedom and sugar, I knew it would be disastrous to try to stick to the original plan. After some invaluable encouragement in the form of emails passed through, my mind-set took a complete transformation where I began fifth-guessing my idea of ‘clean’ weight gain – for the weight to go in the ‘right’ places of course! Yeah apparently that doesn’t happen. That, and I was apprehensive about gaining all the weight on healthy foods only to REGRET it once I’m at a good place. I have this innate need to try to evade potential circumstances of regret. Which is why – some of the time – I’d rather bail out from going somewhere, than leaving my comfort zone and REGRET having went and wishing I was home. <- story for another novel, another time. So I went on a short stint of the The Experimentation diet which lasted sayyy.. -3 weeks. The amount of times I ate cake when I wanted oatmeal, and chips when I was craving roasted veggies is absurd I tell you. I repeatedly erred by going for the ‘unhealthy’ choice, certain that if I went for the healthier one I’d still want the cake etc.

Through it all I’ve learned that even if I do want and consume a legit sugar-bomb dessert, I never feel good afterward. I’m not talking about guilt here.. I always suffer a major sugar crash and I’m not entirely a fan of the ’empty’ feel a regular cake/cookie gives me versus a healthier version. The past few days I have really noticed the immediate difference from the things I’ve been eating and what makes me feel good. That doesn’t mean I am turning down chocolate cake when that is what I want, but I don’t think I will be the Snickers/Oreo mad human I was a few ages ago. I have eaten both multiple times recently..and it seems like one of those things I might have a craving for once in a while. It’s just that even when I make the choice to eat a 3 sugar cookies, I am aware of how I will feel afterward, therefore taking responsibility for how it impacts my body. I’ve found that I love satisfying my sweet tooth with…

Yesterday’s lunch: oatmeal layered with yogurt, applesauce, cinnamon. Topped with Cashew nut butter & honeyoatmeal

Amanda’s Chocolate chip muffinsChoc chip cashew butter muffins

Chocolate lava baked oatmeal topped with peanut butterchoc lava baked oatmeal

I’m at the place where I’m happy to gain the rest whether I am eating ice-cream or banana soft serve.Because I know that no matter what, I am going to eat what I crave, when. And most importantly I am honouring my hunger with little question. Of course my favorite ‘healthy’ savory snack remains unchanged.

What? It’s a serving of veggies dont’cha know!?BKB barbecue

All that being said..I will admit I am a touch confused. By the information I have come across it is normal for my body to react in a more pronounced manner to regular sugar comas, and with time and exposure to sugary foods it should lessen. So by keeping the amount of  sugary treats in check (not as a means of restriction) but to avoid that dreaded jitters, am I not helping things? Because I would much to like to enjoy a coffee-shop muffin without getting a crazy sugar hangover 45 min. later.


6 thoughts on “Finding my food niche in a world of sugar

  1. It’s great that you’re figuring out what works for you, girl! I went through a really similar thing in recovery… There was a time where I wanted ALL the sugar after restricting it for so long, but eventually those cravings levelled off when I finally got it through my head that I was ‘allowed’ to have dessert whenever I wanted, so I didn’t need to stuff myself all at once. The body is a smart thing — we just need to learn to trust it and give the process some time.

    • Yeah, after pounds of veggies for a few years, sugar is magically deadly haha! And it’s so easy to get into the mind-set of – “I better eat all the sweets while I can because I won’t be ‘allowed’ to once I’ve reached my weight.” which is NOT true.

  2. I can definitely relate to the endeavor of gaining weight the “clean” way and not feeling quite satisfied. I also never feel that great after eating a cupcake, an ice cream cone, or even a Reese’s peanut butter cup. I DO still feel great psychologically though, because I enjoyed the treat! I agree with Amanda though— it’s awesome that you’re finding out what’s best for your body. 🙂
    One of my favorite ways to satisfy my sweet tooth is with dried fruit (figs in particular) and some Greek yogurt. The yogurt is satiating with all its protein, but the dried fruit makes it extra special!

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