I had intended to get a few ‘breaking away from the eating disorder’ posts up some time around now; significant, exciting markers of mental growth and freedom. I was eager to delve deep into no.1 on my list: “Negative Associations” in overcoming bad stigmas toward otherwise good, healthy food in correlation with restrictive times. Other than serving as an outlet to reflect on factors, I would of course be thrilled if it would resonate with another soul somewhere on the planet. I am never one to set up a blogging schedule and having no current intention to expand this little space as anything more than a personally public (<-I’m a walking contradiction remember!?) form of expression and healing…. I would not be posting without really feeling it. Maybe it’s just a passing phase – an ebbing and flowing of moods and living circumstances that I’m once again deliberating on whether I will actually be making the initiative to even start on posting anything -I had in mind- anytime soon. It seems like my brain recently has so much of room ; instead of thoughts nagging to break out there’s enough scope for musings to overlap while -I assume- I am a picture of lost calmness and serenity. Bah, that sounds like a load of bull. It would be amusing if it wasn’t the case exactly. In feels like every moment with my mind unengaged is an opening to be whisked off into some daydream, and if that happens to be when I’m outdoors in the soft sunlight (which finally pitched up today!)… hah, good luck with trying to grab my attention! Needless to say, I’m enjoying honouring my wandering brain by slipping away at free times to simply laze or stroll about, and just… dream.
As far as I am aware my daydreaming phase was lost into the toddler years!? Yet I’m entertaining every little wish in my heart, fully experiencing a sense of elation at the near possibility of certain aspirations coming to life – so to say. It’s an incredible feeling guys *gush*.
So I truly want to say: don’t stop dreaming. Ever. It’s a profound sensation that I cannot believe I was such a long period without.