I will not pretend to apologise for being completely MIA; I know and trust you to be joyful on my behalf that this girl has been living. And even more importantly: connecting with loved ones…I didn’t realise how much I’ve missed socializing – trapped into the darkness of my depressive head, I couldn’t see past my own unhapppiness. I don’t intend to imply that recovery is some fairytale for me, but I am undeniably grateful that the process proves to just get better and better after getting in touch with myself and truly accepting my [discovered] quirks.
I embrace and accept the fact that I am not your typical girl on many levels; exotic if you will 😉 .
Gone are the battles of trying to understand the swirling emotions hitting me all at once after being suppressed and held in through the years. Imagine, a naturally boldly expressive human squashing in their vibrant personailty!? Such an unsuitable and sad state to be in. What I find myself marvelling about repeatedly these days? The different manner in which I have managed to percieve a single person due to my particular mindset at the time. I am utterly fascinated and ecstatic to be given a second chance without grudges. Yessss I am blessed with some beautiful souls in my life. Just last year I ranted about my struggle at tolerating a guest(family no less) who was down for an extended stay. My parting words to her last year was “do not come back here”. I know, horrible! Today I admire the disregard -once a subject of annoyance- toward my past insensitive harshness and we’re best of comrades. When she leaves tomorrow – there will be tears. Pleasantly unusual coming from someone who feared getting attached and was
above beyond missing anyone.
Being open and honest, I am in my element most when surrounded by genuine personalities – not putting up a facade or sporting a tight fake smile while giving you the pitiful eye. Even if we happen to disagree on anything and everything; their honesty and authentic manner makes me feel comfortable and happy to be around them.
^LOVE when that chemical reaction takes place, however I am learning that the significant, most meaningful challenge at this point in time for me is accepting my misjudgement of characters previously and attempting to gain a second (or third!) chance in establishing a good grounding with the minds of those who now happen to intrigue, fulfil and indulge me in my ways.
Have you dealt with unfairly summing up a personality and getting off on the wrong foot?